Young + Hopeless = Me

A Summary Of My Pathetic Life.

2005-10-06T15:59:00.000+08:00

okay, well, i'm here with my last post, as the title states, yeah, if it bores you, feel free to click the "X" at the top right corner of your screen. well, here goes. To start off, everyone has friends correct? yeah well, so do i. But the kind of friends i have, to put it, pathetic, SELFISH individuals, who only think of themselves and not others. i seriously dont understand why these people are still so popular. its not me being jealous whatsoever, but shouldnt these people be hated by others, looked upon as losers or shunned by friends? well, so very wrong, these people are WORSHIPPED and they call the shots. what did i do to deserve this life? to be honest, noone really knows who i am? inside of me is actually a whole big messy wreck. people usually know me by jon, the kind, honest, nice, blah blah blah blah, and a whole lot of other shit, always there for friends, blah blah blah. these people usually take me for granted, always wanting me to be there for them. if im busy or whatever shit reasons im not able to make it, im not being "steady" or whatever you fuckers call it. i try not to throw my tantrums at people, always controlling my emotions, to be strong and console my friends when they're down. but they never understand, that jon also have his own personal problems to deal with. NOONE understands. when they need me badly, the will shoot those sweet words out, blah blah. when they dont need me, woah, just kick jon aside. i'm seriously sick and tired of all these, but i cant seem to do anything about it. im always trying my best to be a good friend, for example, my friend just broke up with his girl-friend, called me up at 2.00am, was asleep already as i had sch the next day, asked me to keep him company, i cabbed down, yeah he stays in bishan, everyone will think, not very far what, blah blah blah, distance is not a factor, its the fact that he did not even thank me for coming down, and me being me, didnt say anything also. another example, i am a california fitness member, i had the priviledge of inviting my friends to join as trail members for 2 weeks, i called those so-called my "good" friends to join, happy they were, did they thank me? no, all they had to say was, wah this club damn good sia, blah blah blah, alot of babes man, got sauna, blah blah. yes, its true that i do things without expecting people to appreciate, but its so hurting that everything i do for my friends, are not appreciated and NOONE even bothers to thank me. i dont understand why! when they go out, im not even on their call list. but when they called me, i am very happy, can spend the night drinking and talking, and i end up being the butt of their jokes. just to let you know, they dont even call me by my name, what do they call me by? Fatty, Bui Eh, Fat-Shit. sighs. my friends are messing my life up for me, i bet even when i die, noone will weep for me, i promise you that. they will just say, wah he's finally die, the pain in the ass is finally dead. blah blah, sighs. my life is indeed pathetic dont you think? to make things worse, i lost my part-time job, new staff taking over me, "we cant always depend on you, what if one day you cannot work?" blah blah horse shit again. a service captain being replaced by the new staff, embarrassing. aiya, life's a drag la alright, especially if you are living my life. in short, people take me for granted, they NEVER take me seriously, push me around, blah blah blah. and in short again, my FRIENDS are messing my life up. the only people i love in this world are very very little, my dear little meimei zitian, 6 years and going strong, i understand that she is mugging really hard for her A's and not talking to me anymore, but i understand. just want to let you know that i love you! you study hard and get good results okay! im always praying for you. 2nd would be my dearest cousin jolene, always there for me, always there to wake me up, i love you! 3rd would be my mum and dad, always there to support me in whatever i do, i appreciate that! love you guys. and lastly, lynette. my ex-girl-friend, although she has a bf already, just want to let her know that she will never be forgotten in my heart and im always waiting for her, i love you! this concludes the ending of this post, i think this would be my last post, to all the important people in my life, take good care of yourself! i love you guys alright! take care and god bless, -jon

hey all

2005-08-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

ahahaha im back after another long absence, due to my lovely and dearest mei mei's tagging, here i am again. well, the week was okay, worked only twice last week, which was a miracle, LOL, and also attended qilun's chalet on friday, it was a bomb, black label, absolut vodka, chivas regal, sting ray, WILD BOAR MEAT, BLACK PROMFRET, oh man, seriously, i couldnt remembered when was the last time i had so much. the dar before, went shopping with dear waiyin, bought myself a pair of stussy cargo shorts and a maui and sons lime green t-shirt, SWEEETTT. alright, more work coming up, and also projects are due soon, so cya around, and ciao, take care y'all, god bless. -jonathan.

ATROCIOUS.

2005-07-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

hi everyone, jon's back from a very very long absence, ya la mei, absence makes the heart fonder don't you think? i saw your tag, and decide i should update for you. FOR YOU ONLY. see, im so nice, if you happen to be reading this, please go to your very nice kor friendster and add him a testimonial, thank you. alright, sorry to my beloved blog followers( do i have any?) that have given up reading my blog, LOL. this past few months has been a hassle la, i have to juggle between work and sch, it has really been hectic. hmm, oh yeah, i also shifted to my new hse alr, my new room is really cosy with the right colours and i also have a really cool display cabinet where my diecast car models and throphies are kept, mei, when you coming over? IDIOT. anyways, shall stop here, nothing much to say anyways, take care y'all, and god bless. -jonathan

:))

2005-05-08T03:17:00.000+08:00

orange is such a wonderful colour! ahaha! yeah, that's the colour of my zen micro la, sense of satisfaction after buying it, its like after soooo long la! ahaha! alright, time to update, the last weekend was cool and fun. SSC had a mayday aka labour day funfair! me and chao zhong was in charge of the stall selling local snacks, muah chee, curry puffs, chicken pie, wa ko kueh. yeah! and i was known as the muah chee chef for that day la, ahahahahaha! cos they said that i was really doing it like a professional, ahaha! LOL man! Chao zhong and wee liat said that i can go and sell my muah chee in the pasar malam la! wth! anyways, the funfair was pretty fun and enriching la, learnt new stuff and i also enjoy serving my fellow banquet staff the muah chee i prepared for them! cool shit la! CZ and WL was so damn jealous becos i served this hot chick her muah chee, ahaha! sorry bros, who asked you to take those chicken wings! LOL. anyways, work at ssc is very very fun, fun colleagues, and very down-to-earth people. and svc captain ying jian keeps on calling chef jon! lol. SSC BANQUET TEAM, BAO KA LIAO!! LOL. peace.

:)

2005-04-29T15:40:00.000+08:00

just dyed my hair! nice!! it was fun working in singapore swimming club(banquet team), made new friends who are so kind and helpful! thanks alot girls, especially huimin and lesley! you girls rock! and to lesley, can you stop being so violent? lol! just becos i imitate your laughter you hit me so hard! crazy girl! you girls rock la! huimin too, so helpful, and always carrying the lovely smile on her face, really brightens up my day! lol! SSC ROCKS! see you girls at work man! peace.

f * * *

2005-04-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

no i'm not okay, this few days has been bad and lousy. everything sucks, life has never been fair. fuck.

- - - - - - -

2005-04-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

finally its all over, the job and all, i must admit i have fun riding the segway, doing stunts, e-braking in front of couples and speeding off before they can say, "WTF?!?!?!" ahaha, michelle has been really a good mentor and colleague, chatting and crapping like nobody's business, doing our rounds and criss-crossing each other at turnings, lol, thanks alot! well, life's pretty boring now,i'm not enjoying at all, i just want to live my life in peace, but there are lots of obstacles in the way, sighs* its really that difficult. the only fun thing about my life now is the segway job, just zooming around like nobody's business and showing those caucasian punks how a segway instructor like me ride and accelerate from 0-20 km/h in less than 2 seconds, and e-braking in 0.8 sec. that's my job at the roadshow, believe it.

- - - - - - -

2005-04-21T01:33:00.000+08:00

havent done this in days, dont really have the mood to do anything either. well, everyone's been busy la, me with work, dajie with her swimming lessons, chiki with school, likewise with dora and the others, havent been really do catching up with the rest of the girls, suddenly my life feels really empty w/o them, sighs* the kings have their own activities, kelvin with his girl that he likes, alan with his gf, yeah yeah, leave old jonjon alone to rot, i understand, is this really friends? and to top it off, the last mahjong session ended up with me losing 30 dollars from my wallet, well well, sighs* dont wanna talk much about it la, sorry man, another boring entry, this will be my last entry la, i dont wanna blog anymore, take care y'all, and peace be with you.

dots-

2005-04-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

to sum up today's activities, pooled today with ck and shijun, wah i tell you, shijun is pro man! like seriously, lol, her stance and all that resembles that of neils feijen la! ahaha! concentration! lol, i also taught her how to do a jump shot today, and she did jump a few times, great job girl! we will practise that next time okay?i promise to teach you everything i know! ahaha! i love pooling with them, its just so fun. after pool session, we went down to khatib to have supper with dajie, ahaha, and dajie was super blur la, said to me, jon, im not talking to you already, then turned to dora, "dora, lets talk." dora replied,"i dont want to talk to you." ahaha, poor dajie, studying too hard already la! anyways, supper was fun and enriching la, chat and laugh alot la, and i think shijun and sista loves to see me act gay la! ZHEN TAO YAN! *ROLLS EYES* HMPH. peace.

sighs*

2005-04-09T02:10:00.000+08:00

correction, not intensive training, i've decided to give up pool. ok bye.

sighs*

2005-04-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

i suck at pool la, can? everyone also said, wah lau, what happen to you? last time you were not like this leh! wtf la, how i know? no mood play pool can or not! lousy people now also can win me already, really no space to hide my face, sighs* compared to last time, my skills totally deproved. some kind of pool teacher ar? still can teach people, my dajie, chiki and dora. so lousy still teach people, see also people will laugh man! total joke, sighs* i've decided, from now on, its pool intensive training! until the 29th of april, when sch starts, i shall train and train and train! wish me luck. i really want to get my form back, earn the respect back, the respect i used to have from people at the challenger's. a beginner practices a shot until he makes it, an expert practices a shot until he never fails to make it. what a bad day indeed.

blah blah

2005-04-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

haven't blog in awhile, ahaha! no mood again! lol. monday, i met up with dajie at night and had supper and all, and she so-called study and chat till 6am! ahaha! nice catching up session, share some stuff and hot gossips! :) now im in a dilemma, MDIS or TMC academy, becos MDIS is affliated to the university of oklahoma, considered the lousiest in the states, whereas TMC is affliated to Monarsh university and some top university in uk and australia. and the diploma and degrees in TMC is more recognised. so i think im going there la! ahaha. well, suddenly i feel like poolin! lol, dont know why, guess i'll go down on fri or sat with sista la! poor old dajie, her exams starting soon, cant come out! nvm la dajie! JIA YOU! all the best man! after your exams, the trio will pool and play tennis together! :) anyways, today is quite boring la, listening to music and enjoy the cool weather. alright man, to those taking exams, good luck! peace out.

HA HA HA

2005-04-03T17:00:00.000+08:00

an eventful day yesterday i must admit! the girls planned a great surprise celebration for me! ahaha! thank you very much girls, chiki,kris,dora,loreen! love you guys! cake cutting in funky, ahaha! and the girls can really read my mind can? they bought my favourite cake somemore, fruit cake! yum yum! aahaha, abit of it got to my face and hands lar! thanks to dear old chiki! ahaha! nvm, its only once in a year! anyways, pool was fun, chiki improved again, loreen also, taught her how to aim and gauge angles, and she was listening attentively la! ahaha! nice nice girlie! you will improve in time to come i believe! after that we had a drinking session near cine, we bought alcohol, chiki got bacardi silver, dora and loreen got vodka raspberry and i got this tequila slamma, everything was very nice! ahaha! sat there and chilled awhile, and also snap snap snap! in a flash we realised it was 12.10am! ahaha! we ran to the mrt station, and ran for the last train, poor old loreen was in heels la, and she really had difficulty! ahaha! poor girlie! in the end, the 5 of us had to take the night-rider home and in the bus all of them were treated to ghost and satanic stories contributed by me and kris! ahaha! chiki and dora were really freaked out and were listening to music to try and drown our voices, loreen on the other hand, was the only attentive 1, ahaha! so darn funny! in the end, when we reached yishun, i decided to walk all the girls home, firstly, it was late, secondly, after the ghost stories shared in the bus, most of them are too scared to walk home! lol! loreen 1st, then kris, then dora. dora was damn funny can, when we reached her block, chiki said,"ok, we can just leave now right?" dora was like,"no, cannot, please walk up with me,i'll give you water!"ahaha! and she talked about how a stray cat likes to linger around the rabbit cage outside her house to talk to the rabbit. this provided some laughter all the way up to her house! ahaha! it was damn hilarious! well, and then there were 2. left with me and SISTA! ahaha! took a cab from dora's house to chiki's house, and then i had to walk chiki up to her flat. and the day was over. ahaha! pretty amusing day, once again, a big thank you to the girls! :)) ok when i got home, i took my usual cold bath, and went into my study room with my ibanez rg550 and my amps, and started jamming, played some X-japan and good charlotte. after about 1 hr, my mum came into the room and started railing at me! dont know what the hell for man! anyways, i've already promised her not to touch my guitar anymore, so yeah! oh, Our Holy Father Pope John Paul II passed away yesterday, going to church later, must pray for him, let us all remember him and keep him in our memories, rest in peace father, rest in peace. the next song is out for him, trio, the kings, dora and of course loreen! enjoy! peace out.

Where do we go after we're separated,Now that hanging question has passed,On an endless night, I dreamt of a journey,I gazed at the foreign skies and embraced the loneliness Tears always flow with the winds of time, It's not over, feel your sigh.

* Dry your tears with love

Loneliness, your silent whisper,fills a river of tears through the night,Memory, you never let me cry and you, you never said good-bye,Sometimes our tears blinded the love,We lost our dreams along the way,But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates,never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free,Sands of time will keep your memory,Love everlasting fades away,Alive within your beatless heart

* Dry your tears with love

Tears always flow with the winds of time,It's not over, blue rose from sadness

* Dry your tears with love

Tears always flow with the winds of time,It's not over, feel your sigh.

* Dry your tears with love

-X-japan,Tears

sweet sweet 18 -

2005-03-31T02:42:00.000+08:00

ahaha, turned 18 already, yup, should be more mature already as adolescence is almost over for me! adult-hood coming up, soon there will be more responsibilities and stuff to handle. ahaha! anyways, today's mahjong session was good la, i won 4 bucks, despite losing 6 bucks during the first few rounds, ahaha, what a comeback eh? lol, anyways received the bday gift from alan and the 2 kelvins, a red FILA polo tee, really nice, thank you guys, they said this wasn't all, there's still a bigger gift coming up, the shirt was just an appetiser, ahaha! 1st bday wishes from sms came from dajie, ahaha! thank you man! i really love you! ahahaha! :) anyways, meeting up with the trio soon, will have lots to talk about, so i'll just end here, i don't know what song to put now, they all doesn't suit my current mood, ahaha! so sorry! peace out.

-18 is indeed a sweet sweet age! :))

Tears always flow -

2005-03-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

well well, i'm back again, ahaha, worked on monday, super tiring, ahaha, had to load boxes weighing 4.5kg into freight containers and the forklifts just kept lifting the pellets of boxes to us, we loaded 3 containers in 4 hours. ahaha! yeah, anyways, played pool today, ahaha, i'm so so lousy can? only there for people to trash me, haven't played in days la, don't really have the enthusiasm in me anymore, ahaha, skills has been deproving day by day. oh, mahjong session tmr with the other 2 kings and kelvin goh, hope i win some money, i'm getting my zen micro soon, sorry SISTA, for taking so darn long for it, your wait would be worthwhile, i promise! =D ahaha! alright, enough for today, damn tired, think imma going to sleep soon, next song goes out to KRIS DAJIE,CHIKI,DORA AND THE OTHER 2 GOONDUS. Take care all, enjoy and peace out.

Spend your lazy, endless crazy days, inside my head, You're so selfish, you're not the only one who thinks he's dead I'm paid to smile, now I'm on trial for what you think I said But I never said that everything would be ok, And I never said that we would live to see another day..yeah..yeah..

Motivate me, I wanna get myself out of this bed, Captivate me, I want good thoughts inside of my head, If I fall down would you come around and pick me right up off the ground?

I'm realistic and narcissistic,You say I'm selfish and absurd You try to change me, you try to save me You say I'm gonna learn, I'm so blind, I'm out of time, You're so unkind sometimes, I never lied, I never lied, I never lied, Cuz I never said that everything would be ok, and I never said that we would live to see another day..yeah..yeah..

Motivate me, I wanna get myself out of this bed, Captivate me, I want good thoughts inside of my head, If I fall down would you come around and pick me right up off the ground?

Yeah, 'Cause everything it'll be ok, You know we're gonna live to see another day, Yeah...yeah...yeah...yeah...Motivate me...yeah,(I wanna get myself outta this)Motivate me...yeah(I wanna get myself outta this)Motivate me...yeah(I wanna get myself outta this) Motivate me...yeah(I wanna get myself outta this bed!)

-Motivation Proclamation,Good Charlotte

bday celebration -

2005-03-28T08:30:00.000+08:00

well well, the day's almost over, the guys are out playing mahjong, teng is hooked on to mtv, qx is sleeping, hmm, well, first of all, a big thank you to you guys and girls for turning up at my bday dinner! thanks! really appreciated it, and thanks for the nike dri-fit jersey! ahaha! dinner was great, had bee-hoon, fried noodles, chicken curry, chicken nuggets, sotong balls, japanese crispy chicken and lots of other goodies! Dad also brought back meiji ice-cream and yoghurt. well, mum has been really busy since afternoon, a big thank you for my parents who helped prepare this dinner. anyways england won 4-0! ahaha! a BIG BIG thank you for KRIS DAJIE, CHIKI SISTA AND DORA, for turning up again and SO SO sorry for neglecting you girls, make it up to you next week during the cake cutting session eh? anyways, next song is out to my buddies, KRIS DAJIE, CHIKI SISTA, DORA, and the 2 KINGS, enjoy. peace out.

One more thing before you go We’ll stay up late for one more show Grab the keys we’re going out We’re leaving home and we won’t come back again We’re friends till the end We’ll take on the world We just don’t care at all

I never wanted to believe that you could lie hat friends deceive And here I stand I’m still the same I watched you change You wont come back

I wonder what it’s like to be like you (I wonder what it’s like to be like you) To never really care how bad it hurts (To never really care how bad it hurts) So go ahead and lie and keep moving on It’s all about yourself and you’re never wrong I’ll watch you crash and burn

The day is gone It’s cold out I walk alone as you fade out I don’t know why I’m reaching out And now I know you wont come back

Do you remember the days? Way back when we used to say Nothing can change us No one will stop us I’ll never be like you

I’ll watch you crash and burn You’re never wrong and you keep moving on

-Simple Plan,Crash And Burn

life -

2005-03-24T06:13:00.000+08:00

well, i think life is seriously fucked up for me. why? plain and simple, was supposed to get creative zen micro, now my mum doesn't want to give me money to buy it, cos she says its too expensive, aiya, fuck that la, just being fucking bias that's all, always my fucking younger bro, talk about my bday present, fuck. i feel so damn fucking pissed off, now i gotta work for the micro, not that i'm complaining, but its so just fucking unfair la, i get the shit everytime and my fucking bro gets the good stuff. please la, when was the last time when he paid you for anything that YOU bought for him? does he EVER GIVE YOU MONEY FOR EXPENSES AT ALL? fuck, all he does is spend your fucking money, and you are treating him better than me. fuck that la, i was the one who loaned you 700 fucking dollars when you needed it badly, noticed that it's a LOAN, but did i asked you to return the money to me? NO, i said, family, doesn't matter. well, it doesn't really pay to be nice in this fucking world right? sighs* feel so much better now, but still feeling like shit, noone really understands me, all they ever think of is themselves, and me? always being the nice guy, always there for others, always sharing and caring, and look now, people dont even give half a fuck. actually, there's only that 1 person who doesn't care, yeah, dont need to spell it out yeah. got cheated at marche already with supposedly nice and gentle JUNIE, sighs* why am i always the one to suffer? WHY? money really IS the root of all evil.

ps. forgive my vulgarities, just replace it with something nice, i haven't cursed in 4 days.

S.O.S

2005-03-23T19:47:00.000+08:00

is anybody listening at all? Would they really hear me when i call? that's the question! not a very nice day today, pool's deproving, although i only played like 4 games, but i can feel that my form hasn't been there at all, *sighs. what to do? i dont feel like going out everyday, its like only twice in a week i play pool, has always been like this since 2 weeks ago, don't ask me why, i really don't know too? maybe i finally realised that pool is just a recreational sport and not competitive, i really want to bring my game up to the next level, but i really have no idea how to. ahaha! anyways, there's always a bright side today, i BEAT Zech, he is this ass from SA la, this dumbo who thinks he is so darn pro, always asking me to play punch with him, LOOK DOWN on old jon huh? ahaha, gave him a 3-1, awww, sorry to disappoint, don't know why la, my game suddenly came back, after that game it was lost again! :( ahaha! anyways, poolin this weekend today with SISTA & DAJIE, hopefully la, ahaha! oh ya, DAJIE came down to funky today, with her friends, ahaha, so yeah. anyways, staying at home tmr, don't feel like going out again. :) anyways, the next song goes out to DAJIE, KRIS, SISTA CHIKI and the other 2 KINGS, ALAN AND KELVIN. enjoy, peace out.

Is anybody listening? Can they hear me when I call? I'm shooting signals in the air' Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own So I'm giving up myself Is anybody listening? Listening,

I've been stranded here and I'm miles away Making signals hoping they'd save me I lock myself inside these walls' Cause out there I'm always wrong I don't think I'm gonna make it So while I'm sitting here On the eve of my defeat I'll write this letter and hope it saves me

Is anybody listening? Can they hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air' Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own So I'm giving up myself Is anybody listening? Listening,

I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away Would anybody notice if I chose to stay? I'll send an SOS tonight Wonder if I will survive How in the hell did I get so far away this time So now I'm sitting here The time of my departure's near I say a prayer Please someone save me,

Is anybody listening? Can they hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air' Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own So I'm giving up myself Is anybody listening?Listening,

I'm lost here I can't make it on my own I don't wanna die alone I'm so scared Drowning now Reaching out Holding on to everything I know Crying out Dying now Need some help,

Is anybody listening? Can you hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own So I'm giving up myself Is anybody listening?

-S.O.S,Good Charlotte

silent but lethal

2005-03-23T19:46:00.000+08:00

I'm looking for you, trying to reach your roses, carried away by the time.

Playing with the silent madness.

You've gone away from the stage, leaving no words, there's just fake tears left.
Looking for that bouquet of roses that are admired through false pearls.

I'm blind insane, in the red of silence,now I've lost your love

Look at me, I'm stained to my fingertips in deep red.I can't stand this song of silence.Flowing into the sea of phantom images.Even if I hold my heart, the blood stained angel that has arisen. I can not stop.

Silent jealousy, don't you leave me alone. Falling into sadness, adored by love, that I can't return to. Into this repetitive solitude. Tell me true, where ever I go, I must learn to love this pain. I still want your love, stop your love. Silence the memories where the madness grows.

I just wanted to stay with you, I just wanted to feel the breath of your grace. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't say anything. When consciousness returned, everything had been washed away by the tide, even you. But the scars of memory never fade away. I can't stop loving you, stop my tears, stop my loving, kill my memories...

You dyed my heart in blood, no way to kill my sadness. Kill me before you leave, I can't see anything with the vision set on maddened love. Even now, I miss you,I can't live without you...

Silent jealousy, fall into a dream. Keep holding on to the memory, to the dream. Silent jealousy, don't you leave me alone. Fading into sadness ... kill me love....

-Silent Jealousy,X-Japan

hellloooo

2005-03-22T19:44:00.000+08:00

New template is up, everybody must tell me what you think okay?? especially the creative clique! *winks. peace out.

-just wanna live

2005-03-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

Mahjong yest night wasn't fun, lost money as usual, and had to pay 2 more dollars as his cash flew away and i was the last person who touched it, friggin ass, its only 2 bucks man!!!! i had to search high and low for it until i gave up and paid another 2 bucks, he must've think that i took it, friggin miser! yeah, sighs* money really is the root of all evil, anyhows, MAYBE poolin tmr, sighs* mood not really back yet. anyways, next song goes out to KRIS DAJIE, SISTA CHIKI and the other 2 KINGS! enjoy, peace out.

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight, You see the same damn thing it's just a different day and No one really knows why this is happening, But it's happening And everywhere you go it's just a different place, You get the same dark feeling See the same sad faces No one really cares that this is happening

We come into this world And we all are the same In that moment there's no one to blame

But the world is black And hearts are cold And there's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back It won't be the same Forever changed By the things we've seen, seen

Living in this place it's always been this way There's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed And I can't live when this world just keeps dying It's dying

People always tell me this is part of the plan That God's got everybody in His hands But I can only pray that God is listening Is He listening?

We're living in this world Growing colder everyday Nothing can stay perfect now I see

But the world is black And hearts are cold And there's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back It won't be the same Forever changed By the things we've seen, seen, seen

We come into this world And we all are the same And in that moment there's no one to blame But we're living in this world Growing colder everyday Nothing can stay perfect now I see

The world is black And hearts are cold There's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back (We can't go back) It won't be the same (It won't be the same) Forever changed (What will ever change) By the things we've seen, seen, seen

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight You see the same damn thing it's just a different day And no one really knows why this is happening

-The world is black,Good Charlotte

UPDATES -

2005-03-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

*yawns, a tired day indeed, ahaha, spent the whole night queuing up for the creative MP3 players, ahaha, i didnt buy anything though, SHIKES, ahaha, well, dajie got her CREATIVE MUVO V200, sounds so darn grand, ahaha, and im fondling with it now! OOPS! and our dear old chiki got her ZEN MIRCO, HAPPY OR NOT???? ahaha, so much for being optimistic in the queue eh? =D ahahaha, damn tired la, just got up and decided i should update. anyways, although i didn't get anything. it was just fun la, i'm not disappointed, but actually extremely happy, seeing my 2 GREAT friends get what they wanted, and enjoying each other's company! well yeah, talked about "HER" also, who cares. anyways, the next song goes out to kris dajie, chiki and the other 2 kings. enjoy. peace out.

When you feel all alone And the world has turned its back on you Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone

When you feel all alone And a loyal friend is hard to find You're caught in a one way street With the monsters in your head When hopes and dreams are far away and You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apartI can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain And when it's over you'll breathe again You'll breath again

When you feel all alone And the world has turned its back on you Give me a moment please To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone

-Crash and burn,Savage garden

unappreciated -

2005-03-16T01:27:00.000+08:00

dont feel like saying anything, wanna know just ask me, next song goes out to kris dajie, the other 2 kings, enjoy, peace out.

There's a lot of things, I don't understand, And there's a lot of things, I don't want to know, But you're the only face, I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes,

It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I believe I'm the same, I get carried away, It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get over it yet,

The sent of vaseline in the summertime, The feel of an icecube melting overtime, The world seems bigger than both of us, Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry,

It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I believe I'm the same, I get carried away, It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get over it yet,

I'm so much better than you guessed, I'm so much bigger than you guessed, I'm so much brighter than you guessed,

It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I believe I'm the same, I get carried away, It's all right, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get over it yet,

I think God can explain,

I think God can explain,

I think God can explain.

-I think God can explain,Splender

drift - away

2005-03-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

yup, ok, i finally realised that this is not working out! she only treats me as a aquintance and not a friend. not that this comes from her mouth directly but i somehow or another feel it this way. anyways, it's time to give up la, im sick of always being there,always caring,always the 1st to offer her any assistance she needs, and all she replies you is, "yeah","no","okay","sure","thanks" and so and so forth. I'm SERIOUSLY sick of it already! yup, maybe guys like me are "low-class", yeah but whatever man! anyways, this few days for me has been the worst days of my life, no mood to do anything but sleep all day, listen to music and playing my guitar. i even rejected friends, who ask me to watch movies, pool, lunch and dinner gatherings. yeah, and we are drifting apart, well, what dajie said is right after-all, we are just aquantances, GIVE UP JON is what they said to me. *sighs anyways, i wanna thank my BELOVED DAJIE, KRIS for being there whenever i needed her, the other 2 Kings, ALAN & KELVIN, for the chilling and drinking sessions. without you guys, i would just fall-apart. the next song is for the above mentioned people. enjoy. peace out.

Where do we go after we're separated Now that hanging question has passed On an endless night, I dreamt of a journey I gazed at the foreign skies and embraced the loneliness Tears always flow with the winds of time It's not over, feel your sigh.

Dry your tears with love

Loneliness, your silent whisper fills a river of tears through the night Memory, you never let me cryand you, you never said good-bye Sometimes our tears blinded the love We lost our dreams along the way But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates,never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free Sands of time will keep your memory Love everlasting fades awayAlive within your beatless heart

Dry your tears with love

Tears always flow with the winds of time It's not over, blue rose from sadness

Dry your tears with love

Tears always flow with the winds of time It's not over, feel your sigh.

Dry your tears with love, Dry your tears with love.

-Tears,X-japan

dreams -

2005-03-11T20:08:00.000+08:00

well well, for the 1st time in history, and being a friday, i did'nt go down to funky! ahaha! anyways, met KRIS my BELOVED dajie for dinner at the food-court near my place. well, a rather fruitful dinner, learn lots about "SOMEONE", yeah, thinking of giving her up, but i don't think i can, course i really want to start a relationship with her. sighs* it will nv happen eh? anyways, after dinner, had the usual chatting session with dajie, yeah, she has experience more in life than me, and i really respect her alot! anyways, after that, met up with the other 2 kings at amk s-11, had our usual drinking session, and talking about what we want in life again! ahaha!and there was this mad guy, bitching about how he was cheated out of his money by a woman and was walking around, bitching to everyone there. he even pointed at a guy's gf, saying that it was all the ladies fault that he turn out like this, and called them garbage! ahah wth right? anyways, enough for tonight, kinda tired yeah, going off to dream-land! sayo-nara, peace out.
as usual, the next song goes out to KRIS, my beloved dajie, 2 KINGS and my "SPECIAL SOMEONE" , DORA. Enjoy!

Crucify my love - If my love is blindCrucify my love - If it sets me free Never know, Never trust That love should see a color Crucify my love - If it should be that way
Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out When the wind cries - I'll say good byeTried to learn, Tried to findTo reach out for eternity Where's the answer - Is this forever
Like a river flowing to the sea You'll be miles away, and I will know I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry
Crucify my love - If my love is blind Crucify my love - If it sets me free Never know, Never trust That love should see a color Crucify my love - If it should be that way

'Til the lonliness shadows the skyI'll be sailing down and I will know I know I can clear the clouds away Oh is it a crime to love

Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out When the wind cries - I'll say good bye Tried to learn, Tried to find To reach out for eternityWhere's the answer - Is this forever If my love is blind Crucify my love - If it sets me free Never know, Never trustThat love should see a color Crucify my love - If it should be that way

-crucify my love, X-japan

sighs*

2005-03-09T18:29:00.000+08:00

i wrote this long entry, and then i accidentally closed it! SHIT! sighs* anyways, don't feel like re-writing everything, cos i already forgotten most of it! probably pooling with DORA tmr, cos its not really confirmed yet yeah? anyways, the next song goes out to the 2 kings,ALAN and
KELVIN my fantabulous dajie KRIS and also to DORA! alright, enjoy! peace out.

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead, I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.

-Colin Raye,Love me

Endless rain -

2005-03-09T04:42:00.000+08:00

hey, what up! Pooling later with my secondary sch friend, ahaha! oh yeah, man utd lost 1-0 and chelsea beat barca 4-2, sighs, man utd man utd, no fate! not that im a man utd fan that is! ahaha! i bet "that someone" would be really disappointed! awww! anyways, the next song here is out to "that someone", alan, kelvin and my dajie! peace out.

I'm walking in the rain, though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason. There is only nothing. Just kill me now ... as I roam forever. Until I can forget your love.To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic that only quiets the beating heart. All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory. I keep my love for you to myself.

*Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul. Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by. As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me. You're just an illusion. When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep. I'm a rose blooming in the desert.

It's a dream, I'm in love with you. Hold me warmly in your arms. I awake from my dream I can't find my way without you

The dream is over. I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words. Floating off tear stained walls. So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...until I can forget your love.
Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul. Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness. Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart. Let me take in your tears, take in your memories.
-Endless rain, X-Japan.

Hey You!

2005-03-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

alright, this is my 1st post, and this is the 1st time im doing this, so i'm pretty excited la! I would'nt say much, but my dajie is my current image/fashion/hair consultant! thank you for everything man dajie! i really weally appreciate it! thanks! anyways, man utd match later, hope that someone is also watching, peace out.